UNGLUED(tm) ** This Oracle text is compiled by Wizards of the Coast rules experts, ** but is not officially endorsed by Wizards of the Coast. ASHNOD'S COUPON 0 Artifact T, Sacrifice Ashnod's Coupon: Target player gets you target drink. Errata: You pay any costs for the drink. B.F.M. (BIG FURRY MONSTER) BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB Creature - The-Biggest,-Baddest,-Nastiest,-Scariest-Creature-You'll-Ever-See 99/99 You must play both B.F.M. cards to put B.F.M. into play. When either B.F.M. card leaves play, sacrifice the other. B.F.M. can't be blocked except by three or more creatures. [NOTE: This text is split across two cards] BLACKER LOTUS 0 Artifact T: Remove Blacker Lotus from the game and tear it into pieces. Add four mana of any one color to your mana pool. BRONZE CALENDAR 4 Artifact Spells you play cost 1 less to play as long as you speak in a voice other than your normal voice. When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar. BUREAUCRACY 3UU Enchantment Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a PLAYER can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER. When a PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureacuracy and said PLAYER discards his or her complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND"). BURNING CINDER FURY OF CRIMSON CHAOS FIRE 3R Enchantment Whenever a player taps a card, that player gives control of that card to an opponent at end of turn. At end of each player's turn, if that player didn't tap any nonland cards this turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to him or her. CARDBOARD CARAPACE 5G Enchant Creature For each other Cardboard Carapace card you have with you, enchanted creature gets +1/+1. Errata: This does not count any Cardboard Carapace cards in play that you control or in your graveyard, hand, or library. CENSORSHIP U Enchantment As Censorship comes into play, choose a [CENSORED] word. Whenever any [CENSORED] player says the chosen [CENSORED] word, Censorship deals 2 [CENSORED] damage to him or her. CHAOS CONFETTI 4 Artifact 4, T: Tear Chaos Confetti into pieces. Throw the pieces onto the playing area from a horizontal distance of at least five feet. Destroy each card in play that a piece touches. Remove the pieces from the game afterwards. CHARM SCHOOL 2W Enchant Player As Charm School comes into play, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color. When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School. CHECKS AND BALANCES 2U Enchantment Whenever a spell is played, all players, other than the spell's controller and his or her teammates, may discard a card. If all of those players do, counter that spell. Play Checks and Balances only in a game with three or more players. THE CHEESE STANDS ALONE 4WW Enchantment When you control no cards in play other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in your hand, you win the game. CHICKEN A LA KING 1UU Creature - Chicken 2/2 Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Chicken in play. (You may roll dice only when a card instructs you to.) Tap an untapped Chicken you control: Roll a six-sided die. CHICKEN EGG 1R Creature - Egg 0/1 At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 6, sacrifice Chicken Egg and put a 4/4 red Giant Chicken creature token into play. CLAMBASSADORS 3U Creature - Clamfolk 4/4 Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent. CLAM-I-AM 2U Creature - Clamfolk 2/2 If you roll a 3 on a six-sided die, you may reroll that die. If you do, use the new result instead. CLAM SESSION 1UU Creature - Clamfolk 2/5 As Clam Session comes into play, choose a word. At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Clam Session unless you sing at least six words of a song, one of which must be the chosen word. You can't repeat a song. CLAY PIGEON 3 Artifact Creature 1/1 Flying 1, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated, Attempt to catch it with one hand: If you catch Clay Pigeon, return Clay Pigeon to play, tapped, and the next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. Otherwise, sacrifice it. COMMON COURTESY 2UU Enchantment Whenever a spell is played, counter it unless its controller asks your permission to play that spell. You may refuse permission. If you do, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy. DEADHEAD 3B Creature - Zombie 3/3 Whenever an opponent loses contact with his or her hand of cards, if Deadhead is in your graveyard, you may put Deadhead into play. DENIED! U Instant Play Denied! only when an opponent plays target spell. Name a card, then look at all cards in that player's hand. If the named card is in the player's hand, counter that spell. DOUBLE CROSS 3BB Sorcery Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose one of those cards other than a basic land. He or she discards that card from his or her hand. At the beginning of your next game with that player, look at the player's hand and choose one of those cards other than a basic land. He or she discards that card from his or her hand. DOUBLE DEAL 4R Sorcery Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of your next game with the player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. DOUBLE DIP 4W Instant Choose another player. You gain 5 life. At the beginning of your next game with that player, you gain 5 life. DOUBLE PLAY 3GG Sorcery Choose another player. Search your library for a basic land card and put that land into play. Then shuffle your library. At the beginning of your next game with that player, search your library for a basic land card and put that land into play. Then shuffle your library. DOUBLE TAKE 3UU Instant Choose another player. Draw two cards. At the beginning of your next game with that player, draw two cards. ELVISH IMPERSONATORS 3G Creature - Elf */* As Elvish Impersonators comes into play, roll two six-sided dice one after the other. Elvish Impersonators comes into play with power equal to the first die roll and toughness equal to the second. FLOCK OF RABID SHEEP XGG Sorcery Flip X coins. For each flip you win, put a 2/2 green Rabid Sheep creature token into play. FOWL PLAY 2U Enchant Creature Enchanted creature loses all abilities, is a 1/1 Chicken. FREE-FOR-ALL 3U Enchantment When Free-for-All comes into play, set aside all creatures in play, face down. At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a creature card at random from those set aside in this way and puts that creature into play. When Free-for-All leaves play, put each card still set aside by Free-For-All into its owner's graveyard. FREE-RANGE CHICKEN 3G Creature - Chicken 3/3 1G: Roll two six-sided dice. If both die rolls are the same, Free-Range Chicken gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the number rolled on each die. Otherwise, if the total rolled is equal to any other total you have rolled this turn for Free-Range Chicken, sacrifice it. (For example, if you roll two 3s, Free-Range Chicken gets +3/+3. If you roll a total of 6 for Free-Range Chicken later in that turn, sacrifice it.) GERRYMANDERING 2G Sorcery Remove all lands from the game and shuffle them together. Randomly deal to each player one land card for each land he or she controlled before. Each player puts those lands into play under his or her control, untapped. GET A LIFE W Instant Target player and each of his or her teammates exchange life totals. GHAZBAN OGRESS G Creature - Ogre 2/2 When Ghazban Ogress comes into play, the player who has won the most Magic games that day gains control of it. If more than one player in this game has won the same number of games, you retain control of Ghazban Ogress. GIANT FAN 4 Artifact 2, T: Move target counter from one card to another. If the second card's rules text refers to any type of counters, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter. GOBLIN (Token) GOBLIN BOOKIE R Creature - Goblin 1/1 R, T: Reflip any coin just flipped or reroll any die just rolled and use this result instead. GOBLIN BOWLING TEAM 3R Creature - Goblin 1/1 Whenever Goblin Bowling Team deals damage to a creature or player, roll a six-sided die. Goblin Bowling Team deals to that creature or player additional damage equal to the die roll. This additional damage doesn't trigger this ability. GOBLIN TUTOR R Instant Roll a six-sided die for Goblin Tutor. On a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated type of card, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Shuffle your library afterwards. 2 - Any Goblin Tutor 3 - Any enchantment 4 - Any artifact 5 - Any creature 6 - Any sorcery or instant. GROWTH SPURT 1G Instant Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is equal to the die roll. GUS 2G Creature - Gus 2/2 Gus comes into play with one +1/+1 counter on it for each game you have lost to an opponent since you last won a Magic game against him or her. HANDCUFFS 3BB Enchantment As this comes into play, choose target player. When the chosen player's hands lose contact with one another, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three cards. HUNGRY HUNGRY HEIFER 2G Creature - Cow 3/3 At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Hungry Hungry Heifer unless you remove a counter from any card you control. HURLOON WRANGLER 2R Creature - Minotaur 2/2 Denimwalk (If defending player is wearing any clothing made of denim, this creature is unblockable.) I'M RUBBER, YOU'RE GLUE WW Enchantment Speak only in rhyming sentences. When you do not, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue. Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Target spell or ability, which targets only you, targets another player. INCOMING! 4GGGG Sorcery Each player searches his or her library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and land cards and puts those cards into play. Then each player shuffles his or her library. INFERNAL SPAWN OF EVIL 6BBB Creature - (Demon) Beast 7/7 Flying, first strike At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 1B, reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand and say "It's coming!". If you do, Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent. JACK-IN-THE-MOX 0 Artifact T: Roll a six-sided die for Jack-in-the-Mox. On a 1, sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and lose 5 life. Otherwise, Jack-in-the-Mox has one of the following effects. 2 - Add W to your mana pool. 3 - Add U to your mana pool. 4 - Add B to your mana pool. 5 - Add R to your mana pool. 6 - Add G to your mana pool. JALUM GRIFTER 3RR Creature - Legend 3/5 1R, T: Put Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down in front of target opponent after revealing each card to him or her. Then, rearrange the order of the three cards as often as you wish, keeping them on the table at all times. That opponent then chooses one of those cards. If a land is chosen, destroy target card in play. Otherwise, sacrifice Jalum Grifter. (Turn the cards face up when done.) JESTER'S SOMBRERO 2 Artifact 2, T, Sacrifice Jester's Sombrero: Look through target player's sideboard and remove three cards from it for the remainder of the match. JUMBO IMP 2B Creature - Imp 0/0 Flying As Jumbo Imp comes into play, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp comes into play with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the die roll. At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put on Jumbo Imp a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the die roll. At the end of your turn, roll a six-sided die and remove from Jumbo Imp a number of +1/+1 counters equal to the die roll. KNIGHT OF THE HOKEY POKEY WW Creature - Knight 2/2 First strike 1W, Do the Hokey Pokey (Stand up, wiggle your butt, raise your hands your head, and shake them wildly as you rotate 360 degrees): The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to Knight of the Hokey Pokey this turn, prevent that damage. KRAZY KOW 3R Creature - Cow 3/3 At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and player. LANDFILL 4R Sorcery Choose a land type. Remove from the game all lands of that type that you control. Drop those cards, one at a time, onto the playing area from a height of at least one foot. Destroy each card in play that is completely covered by those cards. Then return to play, tapped, all lands dropped in this way. LEXIVORE 3W Creature - Beast 2/3 Whenever Lexivore deals damage to a player, destroy target card in play, other than Lexivore, with the most lines of text in its text box. If more than one card has the most lines of text, you choose which of those cards to destroy. LOOK AT ME, I'M THE DCI 5WW Sorcery Ban one card, other than a basic land, for the remainder of the match. (For the remainder of the match, each player removes from the game all copies of that card in play or in any graveyard, hand, library, or sideboard.) MESA CHICKEN WW Creature - Chicken 2/2 Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn. MINE, MINE, MINE! 4GG Enchantment As Mine, Mine, Mine! comes into play, each player puts his or her library into his or her hand. Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose as a result of being unable to draw a card. Each player can't play more than one spell each turn. When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves play, each player shuffles his or her hand and graveyard into his or her library. MIRROR MIRROR 7 Artifact Mirror Mirror comes into play tapped. 7, T, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: At end of turn, exchange life totals with target player and exchange all cards in play that you control, and all cards in your hand, library, and graveyard, with that player until end of game. MISS DEMEANOR 3W Creature - Lady-of-Proper-Etiquette 3/1 Flying, first strike At the end of each other player's turn, if you didn't compliment that player on his or her game play this turn, sacrifice ~this~. ONCE MORE WITH FEELING WWWW Sorcery Remove Once More with Feeling from the game as well as all cards in play and in all graveyards. Each player shuffles his or her hand into her or his library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total is set to 10. DCI ruling: This card is restricted. (You can't play with more than one in a deck.) ORGAN HARVEST B Sorcery You and your teammates may each sacrifice any number of creatures. For each creature sacrificed in this way, add BB to your mana pool. OW B Enchantment Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, Ow deals 1 damage to him or her unless that player says "Ow" once for each Ow card in play. PAPER TIGER 4 Artifact Creature 4/3 Rock Lobsters can't attack or block. PEGASUS (Token) POULTRYGEIST 2B Creature - Chicken 1/1 Flying Whenever a creature is put into a graveyard from play, you may roll a six-sided die. If you do, on a 1, sacrifice Poultrygeist. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Poultrygeist. PRISMATIC WARDROBE W Sorcery Destroy target card that doesn't share a color with clothing worn by its controller. You can't choose an artifact or land card. PSYCHIC NETWORK U Enchantment Each player reveals the top card of his or her library to all other players by continuously holding it against his or her forehead. This doesn't allow a player to look at his or her own card. (That card still counts as the top card of your library. If you would draw a card, draw that one instead and replace it with the next card of your library.) RICOCHET R Enchantment If a spell would target a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. That spell targets the player with the lowest die roll instead. If two or more players tie for the lowest die roll, they reroll until there is no tie. ROCK LOBSTER 4 Artifact Creature 4/3 Scissors Lizards can't attack or block. SCISSORS LIZARD 4 Artifact Creature 4/3 Paper Tigers can't attack or block. SEX APPEAL W Instant Prevent the next 3 damage total that would be dealt to any number of creatures and/or players this turn. If there are more players in the room of the opposite sex, prevent 6 damage this way instead. SHEEP (Token) SOLDIER (Token) SORRY UU Enchantment Whenever a spell is played, if a card with the same name as that spell card is in a graveyard and the controller of that spell didn't say "Sorry" before playing the spell, any other player may say "Sorry". If one does, counter that spell. Whenever a player says "Sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player. SPARK FIEND 4R Creature - Beast 5/6 When Spark Fiend comes into play, roll two six-sided dice. On a total of 2, 3, or 12, sacrifice Spark Fiend. On a total of 7 or 11, do not roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeep steps. If you roll any other total, note it. At the beginning of your upkeep, roll two six-sided dice. On a total of 7, sacrifice Spark Field. If you roll the noted total, do not roll dice for Spark Fiend during any of your following upkeep steps. On any other roll, there is no effect. SPATULA OF THE AGES 4 Artifact 4, T, Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: Put into play from your hand any card from an Unglued supplement. SQUIRREL (Token) SQUIRREL FARM 2G Enchantment 1G: Choose a card in your hand. Covering the artist's name, reveal the card to target player. If that player can't name the artist, reveal the artist's name and put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token into play. STRATEGY, SCHMATEGY 1R Sorcery Roll a six-sided die. On a 1, Strategy, Schmategy has no effect. Otherwise, it has one of the following effects: 2 - Destroy all artifacts. 3 - Destroy all lands. 4 - Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and player. 5 - Each player discards his or her hand, and draws seven cards. 6 - Roll the die two more times. TEAM SPIRIT 2G Instant All creatures controlled by target player and his or her teammates get +1/+1 until end of turn. TEMP OF THE DAMNED 2B Creature - Zombie 3/3 As Temp of the Damned comes into play, roll a six-sided die. Temp of the Damned comes into play with a number of funk counters on it equal to the die roll. At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Temp of the Damned unless you remove a funk counter from Temp of the Damned. TIMMY, POWER GAMER 2GG Creature - Legend 1/1 4: Put a creature from your hand into play. THE ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE OF WIZARDS OF THE COAST(R) CUSTOMER SERVICE XYZRR Sorcery The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast(R) Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players. URZA'S CONTACT LENSES 0 Artifact Urza's Contact Lenses comes into play tapped. Urza's Contact Lenses doesn't untap during its controller's untap steps. As long as Urza's Contact Lenses is untapped, all players play with their hands revealed. Clap your hands twice: Tap or untap Urza's Contact Lenses. URZA'S SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT 6 Artifact Creature 4/4 2: Roll a six-sided die for Urza's Science Fair Project. 1 - It gets -2/-2 until end of turn. 2 - Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn. 3 - Attacking doesn't cause it to tap this turn. 4 - It gains first strike until end of turn. 5 - It gains flying until end of turn. 6 - It gets +2/+2 until end of turn. VOLRATH'S MOTION SENSOR B Enchant Player Volrath's Motion Sensor can enchant only a hand controlled by an opponent. Enchanted player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand. When Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and that player loses 3 life. ZOMBIE (Token) Unglued(tm) March 14, 1999